So lots going on here. Abner is the commander of Saul's army, but he is offended by Ishboseth's accusation that he took one of Saul's wives for his own. Now, concubines were part of the culture in the ancient Near East. These woman were taken into a household and accepted as family members. For one to take another man's concubine was considered usurping the husband's authority. So, Ishboseth's accusation questioned Abner's loyalty to the king. Abner was so offended, he defected to David's camp. When Joab found out, he determined to seek his revenge for his brother's death. David was not happy about this. In fact, he mourned Abner.
So, what should we take from this? A man (or woman) of God is to honor God in all things. When we repent, God accepts us in with open arms. He no longer holds our sins against us. Since we were treated this way, we MUST treat others that way. David understood this and we should follow his example.
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